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This still evokes a smile on my face. It even did back when I was about to send this email with no guaranteed full-time paid job in hand (first time I found myself in that situation).
Hindsight would pronounce that decision as reckless. However, if asked to make the same choice once again, with the benefit of hind-sight, I guess the answer would be 'yes'. It is sometimes good to be young and passionate. Of course, the warm reactions to the email from some quarters stood me in good stead while I fumbled to find a foothold as an independent consultant.
The original has been corrected for visible typos.
From: Kushagra Merchant/MUM/Monitor
To: Zarine Commissariat/MUM/Monitor@Monitor
Cc: kushagra.merchant@hotmail.com
Date: 07/14/2012 02:55 PM
Subject: The last to-do
Dear Zarine
Kindly request to grant the following humble paragraphs requisite certificate of approval from the hallowed Monitor Censor Board and oblige everyone's inbox.
But I know you have such a good & kind heart that the above request is quite futile :)
---------------------
To maintain continuity with a certain previous farewell email - I am a man of quite a lot of words and some of them quite direct & colourful too.
My sole contribution over last 2.5 years has been of being an excellent recruitment error. Some recruitment errors one can see from a distance & are downright disastrous and should be (have been) avoided. These don't take a lot of effort to spot them. The others only once they are a relic of the past do you realize they were quite disastrous too - though very much necessary to break the monotony of what some call 'the Monitor way'. I quite fancy my chances of being nominated in the second category. Though am sure my father-in-law will tend to differ and would be quite comfortable placing me in the former.
My previous job taught me to assign value zero to the variables of 'Pay, Promotion & Position'. Once you get them out of the way, it is easier to breath in life. I came in here thinking the other 2 P's of the grand council of the 5Ps really matter - "People & Purpose". I have been vindicated in my hypothesis. Except that to assign reasonable values to these two old folks is quite a slippery slope. Time in here has taught me it may take another few years to nail these wise old men down.
In meantime, two more P's, hitherto not thought of surfaced on the horizon -- and this what the more upmarket folks would call 'Monitor's strategic advantage'. One is the evergreen 'Pantry' - a refuge from the ivory tower on the other side. One feels one has to be 'decent, contained & formal ' in that ivory tower. What with the enticingly luxurious lounge and private chambers for people to ruminate on the grave considerations that life offers. Though the economic utility of this behaviour remains and will remain a perpetual mystery to more rustic souls like me.
In the Pantry one could say with glee 'what the ****' (actually hindi is more like the lingua franca in there). The 3 care-takers of the Pantry were fabulous and will remain friends for life. But of course,, how can Monitor be Monitor unless it is 'uniquely differentiated' from the crowd. So of course, one must bring to the surface the final hidden weapon - 'Parsi Mafia'. That completes the septet. Naah, the Mafia stands on its own and is a holy kingdom in itself to reckon with. The 5 grand young ladies of the Mafia will always remain special. They have an open invitation for anytime / anywhere 'coffee'date with me. (Given my temporary unemployment, 'coffee' seems a reasonable compromise. Make sure to ask me out before I into the grinof employment again. You shall have the blessing of my wife, if you manage to get me out of the house).
At this point, I am sure, I would have exhausted Zarine's patience as she is trying to scrutinize these paragraphs for possible infelicities. So I must close. But in closing, two folks I would thank profusely - Dhan and Dilip -- for ensuring that I was regularly reminded to eat lunch and a lot of times ensuring that it is available too. The element I shall truly miss is this gentle 'caretaker' attitude -- including of those from (what may euphemistically be called) the other side of the 'Line of Control' . Usually, the finance & IT teams in most organizations are a pain in the arse, but in here it was a walk through.
One often reads in farewell emails talks of the community. I never understood what this word 'community' really meant. For me, it was these care-takers who were the flag-bearers of the culture and represented 'the Monitor way' - any other way was the way of the ivory tower folks. If & when I do start my own shop, all you caretakers have 'walk-in' jobs.
And yes, all you young Mafia ladies - if you are working late at nightand need a lift, give me a call - shall be more than happy to obligeif I am around. But, of course, remember to charge the fuel bill to Monitor and get it reimbursed for me.
~Kushagra
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